October 3, 2012

Fleshy Pies and Singing Demons

It’s October!

Do you know what this means!? It means it’s almost time for Halloween (and my birthday). But more importantly, HALLOWEEN. Which also means that I’ve been thinking about the upcoming holiday for exactly two months. Seriously. I LOVE it. The pumpkins, the bat and spider web decorations, the scary movies, and let’s not forget—the candy and the costumes. 

I take serious pride in my costumes. I even wore my Kindergarten Pocahontas outfit to school for a week after Halloween. Here are some costume highlights from years past:

The Joker in his nurse outfit (I believe in Harvey Dent sticker included)

I keep raising the bar, and this year has taken some serious brainstorming. It usually comes down to a couple characters I love, a pop culture reference, something creative, and a classic. The great thing about this Halloween is that I’m living in an apartment, which presents the opportunity for trick-or-treaters.

And so, I present to you, a few of this year’s costume options. I’m counting on you to help me decide.

Possible Scenario:
[Trick-or-treaters knock on door]

Me: ‘Ello, little ones!

Tiny witch: What are you supposed to be?

Me: The name’s Mrs. Lovett—and I cut up children like you and bake ‘em into pies!

[Tiny witch and friends run away screaming]

Possible Scenario:
[Trick-or-treaters knock on door]

Me: Like, OHMYGOD, Happy Halloween!

Tiny ghost: [Squeals] You’re Draculara!

Me: Hell yes, I am.

Tiny ghost: She’s my favorite!

[Tiny ghost and I proceed to have a five-minute conversation about how awesome the Monster High dolls are, and I end up dumping all of my candy in her bag]

Possible Scenario:
[Trick-or-treaters knock on door]

Me: [Singing “Night on Bald Mountain”]

Tiny monster and friends: [Run away screaming and crying] “Mommy!”

[I get to keep and eat all the candy]

Possible Scenario:
[Trick-or-treaters knock on door]

Me: [Opens door and stands completely still]

Tiny Playboy bunny: Uhh, are we going to get any candy?

Me: [Remains completely still]

[Tiny Playboy bunny and equally risqué friends smash my pumpkin and walk away, cursing]

[I still get to keep and eat all the candy]

Help me choose, friends. I love them all. Do you have any great Halloween plans? 


  1. Gargoyle. You have to.

    I'm on duty in the dorms, but I'm still going to dress up as Helga Pitaki from Hey Arnold!, unibrow and all. My only quest is to figure out how to hairspray my hair in horizontal pigtails.

    1. Hah! That's a wonderful costume idea. I've seen people make wire headbands for Pippi Longstocking, and I bet you could do the same for Helga. I've been on the search for gargoyle makeup, but haven't had any luck so far.