October 29, 2012

Real, Live(?) Ghosts

I apologize for not posting lately. I had a weekend date with some ghosts.

Let me preface this--I'm a skeptic. Hard to believe, right? The girl who starts planning her Halloween costume months in advance doesn’t believe in ghosts? Nope. But this certainly makes it easier for me to get excited about scary movies and ghost stories.

For our 3-year anniversary, my boyfriend and I decided to take a trip to Eureka Springs, Arkansas and stay at The Crescent Hotel—the 10th most haunted spot in the United States. Nothing says romance like pregnant women falling from balconies and cancer patients being “treated” with carbolic acid.

You know what this non-believer did after the ghost tour ended the first night? She FREAKED OUT. This imagination is going to be the death of me. Sitting in the dark, all I could think about was the child that was watching me at the end of my bed or the perverted construction worker who would probably (definitely) watch me shower in the morning.

I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d actually experienced something paranormal. It probably would’ve gone something like this:

Me: [Sees little girl standing at the end of the bed] . . .

Little girl: [Stares at me through two dark holes in her skull]

Me: [Stares back] mmmm [starts to whimper] AAAHHHHGLLLAAADAAAACCKMAA!

[Runs screaming from room and wakes up everyone in the hotel, including ghosts]

Boyfriend: [Chases me] What are you doing!?


Boyfriend: [Throws a blanket over me to avoid scratches, then scoop me up and carries me back] What was that about?


Boyfriend: Oh?

Me: I thought my coat buttons were that little girl that died on this floor.

Anyone ever experienced something that changed their mind about ghosts? The Ghost Hunters actually filmed at The Crescent, and their footage is pretty creepy. Check it out, if you're interested:

 Oh, and I do recommend staying at The Crescent, believer or not. The ghost tour was awesome.

October 24, 2012

What Pinterest Doesn't Tell You About Crafting

You know what I wish I liked more than I do? Crafting. It's artistic, fun, rewarding, and supposedly "relaxing." It’s also the perfect way to win a Halloween decorating contest that’ll knock $100 off your rent. And with Pinterest it’s easier than ever to get excited about crafts. You know what the problem is with crafting? Your project never turns out as good as the person who posted it. Case in point:

Here’s what Pinterest doesn’t tell you about your exciting craft endeavors:

1. You're about to spend way too much money on things like paper, glue, and googly eyes.
2. You're probably going to end up burning yourself. Or losing a finger.
3. It's going to take approximately fifteen times longer than the time you'd invested in your mind.
4. You're going to be so ashamed of how it turned out that you're not even going to want to display it.
5. Your dog might eat it. And then he'll die.
6. You're going to cry halfway through, decide to keep going, and cry again when it's over.
7. No matter what you're doing, your back is going to hurt at the end of it.
8. If you do display your atrocity, everyone will be too afraid to comment on it.

Stick to macaroni art, kids. Let's save some money and pride. 

October 21, 2012

If You Can't Get the Drawer Open, You're Not Doing it Right

You really do learn something new every day. But sometimes I’m reminded that you only learn something new every day simply because you weren’t smart enough to learn it way earlier.

Kitchen drawers. I thought I knew how to use them. And on my 23rd birthday, I realized I didn’t. I’ve struggled to open my kitchen drawers ever since I moved into my apartment. I thought they were just really sticky. I have, in fact, broken several nails trying to pry them open. But on my 23rd birthday as I was rummaging around for scissors, my boyfriend watched me fight the drawer, and then easily opened it from underneath.

Me: What the hell? How did you just do that?

Him: I used the handle.

Me: Handle? What handle? WHAT HANDLE!?

Him: The notch underneath the drawer.

Me: [Feels around for the notch, then easily slides the drawer open.] Oh my god. Do they all do this?

Him: Uhh, yeah. Wait. How have you been opening the drawers?

Me: [Pulls, groans, and yanks at the top corners of the drawer until it jerks open]

Him: [Jaw hanging open]

Me: [Pulls open every single drawer to make sure she can do it.] OH MY GOD. THEY ALL DO THIS!

My advice: Take time to observe and learn before it comes back to embarrass you.

p.s. Can you guess from the picture below what I decided to be for Halloween? I’m so stinkin’ excited.