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Happy day after Halloween! I hope your stomachs are full and your candy bowls are empty. I’d like to share with you something that I think will make your future Halloweens a little more enjoyable. I’ve been following this ritual for a few years now, and I think it's helped me the recover in the days after Halloween.

This is my Halloween Diet.

Don’t be scared off by the word “diet.” Because this is really the best kind of diet—the kind where you eat more than you usually would, and not less.

Now that we’re adults, there’s no one more adult than us limit our candy intake. Remember the days when we could only eat a few pieces before bed, and when we woke up our candy bags were nowhere to be seen? Those days are no more, and it’s time we take advantage of it.

In order to enjoy Halloween candy to its fullest and binge-iest, it’s important to prepare in advance so you don’t suffer from stomachaches or throw up your Pixie Stix and ruin your Halloween night.

A few days before, just start gradually increasing your daily intake of sugar. You might suffer from twitches and spasms at first, but those will soon become fun. The day before Halloween, don’t eat any sugar. It’ll be the hardest night of your life (unless you’re a recovering crack addict), but just remember that you’ll be able to eat all the candy you want in one day.

Then, on Halloween, BINGE, BABY, BINGE.

Oh, and if you never figured out what my costume was:

Real, Live(?) Ghosts

I apologize for not posting lately. I had a weekend date with some ghosts.

Let me preface this--I'm a skeptic. Hard to believe, right? The girl who starts planning her Halloween costume months in advance doesn’t believe in ghosts? Nope. But this certainly makes it easier for me to get excited about scary movies and ghost stories.

For our 3-year anniversary, my boyfriend and I decided to take a trip to Eureka Springs, Arkansas and stay at The Crescent Hotel—the 10^th most haunted spot in the United States. Nothing says romance like pregnant women falling from balconies and cancer patients being “treated” with carbolic acid.

You know what this non-believer did after the ghost tour ended the first night? She FREAKED OUT. This imagination is going to be the death of me. Sitting in the dark, all I could think about was the child that was watching me at the end of my bed or the perverted construction worker who would probably (definitely) watch me shower in the morning.

I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d actually experienced something paranormal. It probably would’ve gone something like this:

Me: [Sees little girl standing at the end of the bed] . . .

Little girl: [Stares at me through two dark holes in her skull]

Me: [Stares back] mmmm [starts to whimper] AAAHHHHGLLLAAADAAAACCKMAA!

[Runs screaming from room and wakes up everyone in the hotel, including ghosts]

Boyfriend: [Chases me] What are you doing!?

Me: AAAHHHHGLLLAAADAAAACCKMAA!

Boyfriend: [Throws a blanket over me to avoid scratches, then scoop me up and carries me back] What was that about?

Me: AAAHHHHGLLLAAA—oh.

Boyfriend: Oh?

Me: I thought my coat buttons were that little girl that died on this floor.

Anyone ever experienced something that changed their mind about ghosts? The Ghost Hunters actually filmed at The Crescent, and their footage is pretty creepy. Check it out, if you're interested:

 Oh, and I do recommend staying at The Crescent, believer or not. The ghost tour was awesome.

Fleshy Pies and Singing Demons

It’s October!

Do you know what this means!? It means it’s almost time for Halloween (and my birthday). But more importantly, HALLOWEEN. Which also means that I’ve been thinking about the upcoming holiday for exactly two months. Seriously. I LOVE it. The pumpkins, the bat and spider web decorations, the scary movies, and let’s not forget—the candy and the costumes. 

I take serious pride in my costumes. I even wore my Kindergarten Pocahontas outfit to school for a week after Halloween. Here are some costume highlights from years past:

Skydancer

The Pink Panther

Ventriloquist Dummy

Regan from The Exorcist

Puss n Boots

The Joker in his nurse outfit (I believe in Harvey Dent sticker included)

Charlie Kelly

Salvador Dali

A decapitated Marie Antoinette

I keep raising the bar, and this year has taken some serious brainstorming. It usually comes down to a couple characters I love, a pop culture reference, something creative, and a classic. The great thing about this Halloween is that I’m living in an apartment, which presents the opportunity for trick-or-treaters.

And so, I present to you, a few of this year’s costume options. I’m counting on you to help me decide.

Mrs. Lovett from Sweeney Todd

Possible Scenario:

[Trick-or-treaters knock on door]

Me: ‘Ello, little ones!

Tiny witch: What are you supposed to be?

Me: The name’s Mrs. Lovett—and I cut up children like you and bake ‘em into pies!

[Tiny witch and friends run away screaming]

Draculara or Frankie Stein from Mattel’s Monster High Dolls

Possible Scenario:

[Trick-or-treaters knock on door]

Me: Like, OHMYGOD, Happy Halloween!

Tiny ghost: [Squeals] You’re Draculara!

Me: Hell yes, I am.

Tiny ghost: She’s my favorite!

[Tiny ghost and I proceed to have a five-minute conversation about how awesome the Monster High dolls are, and I end up dumping all of my candy in her bag]

Chernabog from Disney’s Fantasia

Possible Scenario:

[Trick-or-treaters knock on door]

Me: [Singing “Night on Bald Mountain”]

Tiny monster and friends: [Run away screaming and crying] “Mommy!”

[I get to keep and eat all the candy]

Gargoyle

Possible Scenario:

[Trick-or-treaters knock on door]

Me: [Opens door and stands completely still]

Tiny Playboy bunny: Uhh, are we going to get any candy?

Me: [Remains completely still]

[Tiny Playboy bunny and equally risqué friends smash my pumpkin and walk away, cursing]

[I still get to keep and eat all the candy]

Help me choose, friends. I love them all. Do you have any great Halloween plans?