February 13, 2013

Happy Birthday, Renee!

Today is February 13th, and I have something very important to say.

Pretty much the perfect ecard for us.

My dear friend Renee is turning 23 today! Renee and I have known each other since we were 18 and living in Sunderland Hall at Drury together. It doesn’t seem like much has changed in five years.

Renee will be in Springfield this weekend, and I can’t wait to celebrate with her. And since Chuck E. Cheese is no longer an option (or is it?), we need suggestions for how to celebrate! For those of you who’ve celebrated the big 2-3, what did you do? And for you youngsters, how do you imagine celebrating 23? Any favorite birthday memories?

February 11, 2013

Don't Judge a Book by its Semi-Erotic Cover

That whole “never judge a book by its cover” advice? Total crap. Unless you mean it figuratively speaking (most people do).

You can usually tell everything you need to know about a book by its cover. Does it have a dog on the cover? The dog dies on page 287. Does it have a renaissance painting on the cover? Count on some steamy scenes, an affair, a murder, and a lot of unnecessary exposition. If there’s an illustration on the cover, it’s an actual children’s book. A sepia photo of a girl on the cover? Don’t waste your time. Trust me.  

I use Goodreads to find books to put on my to-read list. It’s an easy way to keep track of what you’ve read, review books, and find new books that might interest you. AND—you can see the covers of books before you find them on the shelf.

I recently started reading a novel called What I Loved, which I found on Goodreads. I put it on hold at my library. This is the cover I expected:

Makes you think the book has something to do with art, right? Possibly a sad story, a tale of something lost?

This is the cover I got.

You can only imagine my face as the librarian handed it over to me.

Me: This isn’t what it looks like.

Librarian: No need to explain . . .

Me: No, really. It’s not a romance novel—I’m not into that stuff.

Librarian: It’s none of my business what you’re into.

Me: Wait, wait! Goodreads says: “New York 1975—art historian Leo Hertzberg discovers an extraordinary painting by an unknown artist in a SoHo gallery . . .”

Librarian: Fascinating set-up. If you’ll excuse me.

And then I leave, completely humiliated. WHY do people choose such horrible artwork for book covers? Don’t they know that visuals sell? You see the cover of a book before you read the back of it.

Meh. I guess it could’ve been worse. At least this wasn’t the cover:

Did you ever have a book cover take you by surprise? What’s the ugliest book cover you can remember seeing?

February 4, 2013

Is it a boy, girl, or iPhone?

I have pretty exciting news. Last weekend, I got my very first iPhone! And not only is this my first iPhone—it’s the third phone I’ve ever owned, it’s my first touch-screen phone, and it’s also my first “smartphone.” Technically, my Blackberry was a smartphone, but . . . I didn’t have a data plan. And a smartphone without email or internet access is just a dumbphone.

It’s strange—people congratulate you when you get an iPhone. It’s how you know everyone was talking about your Blackberry behind your back. Suddenly, you grab your iPhone to check the weather and it’s like you just gave birth.

Friend: Whoa! When did you get that!? It’s so beautiful! Can I hold it?
You: Uhh, sure.
Friend: You’re going to be a great mother.
You: What?

The guy at the phone store made fun of my five-year-old Blackberry. Poor girl. She may not have been the chicest thing around, but we had some good times.

I wrote an entire short film about my Blackberry a few months after I first got it. And then I shared it with my entire twelfth grade English class. Has my iPhone ever taken an embarrassing photo of my sister? Not yet. Has its distorted ringtone humiliated me in the middle of Barnes & Noble? Nope. Has it (very conveniently) shut itself off in the middle of a conversation with someone I didn’t want to be talking to? It certainly has not!

Of course, I’m ecstatic about my new phone, but I’ll miss my janky little BBerry. What kind of phone do you have? Do you ever reminisce about memories of your old phones?

p.s. I'm pretty excited about Instagram. You can follow me @karinosa3.

February 1, 2013

Eavesdropping: Usually Not Worth the Effort

Have you ever noticed that the conversations you try to listen in on end up being the most boring conversations you’ve ever heard? Strangers always have more interesting things to talk about than anyone you know.

Conversation between two people you know:

Kyle: And then I did the dishes.
Jen: Did you empty the dishwasher afterward?
Kyle: Yeah, I did.
Jen: Cool. That was responsible of you.

Conversation between two strangers:

Stranger 1: Actually, Humpback Whales use bubble nets to catch their prey.
Stranger 2: Bubble whats-its?
Stranger 1: Yeah, a group of them will swim upward together to create a barrier of bubbles, so their prey can’t escape.
Stranger 2: Huh.
Strangers: [Blank stares]
You: About the whales . . .

Conversation between two people you know:

Ron: You have something green on your chin.
Drew: Oh. Where?
Ron: There.
Drew: Oh. Broccoli from lunch.
Ron: Gross, dude.

Conversation between two strangers:

Stranger 1: Did you hear about Mr. Grinshlap?
Stranger 2: Mmhmm. I heard they found the body.
Stranger 1: No, well. Kind of.
Stranger 2: What do you mean, “kind of?”
Stranger 1: They found it. In pieces.
You: [Staring slack-jawed]
Stranger 2: I bet she did it.

What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever overheard?