Stranger Danger

What ever happened to “don’t talk to strangers”? When my parents taught me this, I figured I was to follow it for the rest of my life. But it seems like the older I get, the more likely I am to be approached by strangers who just want to chat casually. And I can’t figure out what makes these greasy 50-year-old men and jittery 13-year-old girls want to talk to me.  

[Looking at Halloween costumes at Party City]

Tween: I don’t understand why they don’t include the shoes in the costume.

Me: Hm. [Quickly starts to walk away]

Tween: [Sprints to catch up] What are you gonna be for Halloween?

Me: I don’t know. [Long pause, followed by a sigh] What are you going to be?

Tween: I don’t know. I was thinking about this costume, or this one, or this one too, but I also like this one.

This continues for what feels like half an hour, while I continue to grow more and more impatient. Finally, I just walk away and let her finish talking to herself.

Seriously, you never know who has a chainsaw in their pocket. I just wish I could show these friendly strangers once and for all that I’m not interested in talking to them.

Anyone have a chainsaw I could borrow? You know, just for the effect.