September 15, 2012

Whoa There, Corn

One of the great things about being an introvert is that I spend most of my time inside my own head. I like I up there. It’s a nice 72 degrees, sunny with some cloud coverage, and there are lots of colorful houses and cute animals. The downside about spending so much time inside your own head, as any introvert can tell you, is that you tend to imagine scenarios at a rapid pace. Which means things gets out of control fast.

Many times, this makes for incredibly awkward social situations.

Sequence of events:

1. Person brings corn salad to party.

2. I have an internal dialogue with myself about all the reasons corn is an inferior vegetable.

3. People eat corn salad and seem to like it.

4. I think about how, actually, it's unfair to call corn an "inferior" vegetable, since it's so efficiently digested.

5. Someone walks very quickly in the direction of the bathroom. "That corn is moving really fast!"

6. I immediately come to the conclusion that this person is about to relieve their bowels in the bathroom. "HA! Bathroom time, is it?"

7. Horrified face from person.

8. I realize they were remarking on the popularity of the corn salad, not the fact that the corn was physically moving through them at a fast pace. 

You should probably know that numbers 7 and 8 didn't happen, only because I couldn't spit out my awkwardness faster than this guy was walking. But give it time, people. My imagination is going to catch up to me. 

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