1. Curly hair is awesome.
b. Shaun White
2. People pay lots of money and spend lots of time trying to make their hair look like yours.
c. Curling irons
d. Scrunch gel
3. You don’t have to wash your hair very often.
a. Should I shower today? [Looks for sign of oily hair] Nope. [Sleeps another fifteen minutes]
b. You only have to buy shampoo twice a year, so you have more money to spend on something else. Hopefully it’s something like a trip to Europe and not a straightener.
4. Curly hair is a great indicator of the weather.
a. You can tell when there’s a rainstorm coming.
b. You’re always dressed appropriately.
c. You know when to tie your hair back, lest you suffer from rainy day poodle head.
1. It gets EVERYWHERE.
a. We’re talking papers, drains, other people’s heads, your mouth, your eyes, and other uncomfortable places.
b. People treat individual curly hairs look like malevolent little snakes. Seriously. Watch someone just blow a straight hair off their paper. But watch them find a curly, and they’ll pick it up precariously like it might be carrying the bird flu.
2. Getting your hair cut is terrifying.
b. Inverted triangle-head
e. Sad curls
f. The haircut that will only look good if you straighten it
g. Curly bangs (NO)
a. You question Patti’s opinion, then realize that she knows everything.
b. You spend the rest of your life worrying that you’re unattractive, but you’re ultimately too much of a feminist to ever straighten your hair for a man’s pleasure.
4. You probably spent years 13-18 straightening your hair.
a. FIVE YEARS OF SO MUCH TIME WASTED.
b. You realize at age 19 that you look a gazillion times better with curly hair than you did with straight hair.
I think it’s time we all accept our hair for what it is. Personally, I’d rather be a poodle who can predict thunderstorms than a sheepdog who trips over its own luscious locks. Who’s with me?