November 10, 2012

Procreate for the Right Reasons

Having kids has never really appealed to me. I just don’t think I’ll ever be able to give up impromptu movie marathons, traveling, or late-night reading. Or sleep. Yeah, I’d like to maintain a healthy relationship with sleep. But it’s been brought to my attention that there are three perfectly legitimate reasons to procreate.

1. Candy: Unfortunately, you can’t get away with trick-or-treating after a certain age. If I had kids, I’d convince them that the Great Pumpkin gobbles up children who don’t share with their parents.

2. Toys: For some reason, when toys show up on my Christmas wish list, my grandmother thinks I’m joking. Anything with a choking hazard, like, say, a Monster High Doll, would be MINE. It’s called being a responsible mom.

3. Playgrounds: Having a kid at a playground is marginally more acceptable than fighting over a swing with someone else’s five-year-old.

It’d be totally worth all the diaper changes and temper tantrums, right?  


  1. No, ma'am, it would definitely not be worth it whatsoever.

  2. It is TOTALLY worth it! Just ask those of us who played on the swings in the park for hours and didn't get funny looks because we had a child with us -- try that now and people think I'm "special". Or spent hours playing cars in the elaborate dirt cities our children made under the deck -- those were the days! Yes, TOTALLY worth it. - Marline

  3. Playing on the swings in the park sounds awesome. The crying and the pooping? Not so much. ;)