November 13, 2012

Apartment of Leaves


Did you ever read a book that seriously scared you? Stephen King haunts my childhood (nice parenting skills, Dad!). I’ve long since gotten over my fear of resurrected animals and evil vintage Plymouths, but the book I’m reading right now has awaken a new level of paranoia.

House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski is fairly complicated to explain—but (generally) it's about a family that moves into a house only to discover that the inside of the house is much larger than the outside.

So while the neighbor's vacuum used to mean "Hey, the neighbor's vacuuming," it now means "A black hole is about to open up in the middle of my living room floor."

Before
A drunk person outside: “Please don’t throw up on the stairs. I have to walk down those in the morning.”
After
A drunk person outside: [Silent, wide-eyed terror] “He’s got a gun, and he’s going to shoot me in the forehead and leave a giant, bloody stain on the carpet.”

Before
Wind making moaning sounds: “Shut up.”
After
Wind making moaning sounds: “Oh my god. The apartment is building onto itself. And I don’t think it’s building a walk-in closet.”

Before
Airplane flying overhead: “Wonder where they’re traveling to/from.”
After
Airplane flying overhead: “Something at the foot of your bed is GROWLING. If you don’t move, it won’t see you. And then it can’t rip your throat out.”

I guess the fact that it's making me this crazy says a lot about the book. I think the main reason it’s so frightening is because it feels so real. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever read?

By the way, I made a Humor Her Facebook page for you to like so you can stay up-to-date with blog posts. Shanks, guys and gals.

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