What's in a Name?

Do you like your name? Does it fit you? My friends and I used to play a game where we’d come up with alternate names for each other. Jamie looked like a Karen, and so forth. I’ve known people who say they never get along with people named Kyle. And people who’ve said all their friends named Anne ended up teachers. It’s a strange thing to consider.

The other day, I went to the bank for a roll of quarters. It usually takes about two minutes—I’m in, hand over my debit card, receive laundry money, and head out the door. But for some reason, the teller at the bank took a special interest in my name.

Her: Cecily*. I like that name!

Me: Thanks, money lady!

Her: Like Cicely Tyson, the famous actress.

Me: Uh huh, uh huh.

Her: You know, that sounds like a pie to me.

Me: [Blank stare] What . . . sounds like a pie?

Her: Your name! You could own a pie shop with that name! Cecily’s pies.

Me: Oh, yeah. Heh. I like pie.

Her: And you could sell all kinds of pies. Chocolate pies, strawberry pies, pecan pies. All kinds.

Me: What about Key Lime?

Her: No, not Key Lime. You should open a pie shop though.

Me: Yeah. I think I will. [I definitely won’t.]

Her: Promise me.

Me: What?

Her: Promise me you’ll open a pie shop and call it “Cecily’s Pies.”

Me: Can I have my quarters?

Her: PROMISE ME!

Me: I PROMISE!

*She actually mispronounced my name for the entire conversation. Called me “Sicily.”

Apparently, the name "Cecily" screams "pie shop." What do you think your name says about you?

Library Torture Methods

Geek problem:

When you’re reading a book from the library and are notified that another book you have on hold is available for pickup. But it’s only available until Thursday. And you have approximately 700 pages left in your current book.

Cancelling that hold feels like cancelling Christmas.   

Sugarsugarsugarsugarsugar

Happy day after Halloween! I hope your stomachs are full and your candy bowls are empty. I’d like to share with you something that I think will make your future Halloweens a little more enjoyable. I’ve been following this ritual for a few years now, and I think it's helped me the recover in the days after Halloween.

This is my Halloween Diet.

Don’t be scared off by the word “diet.” Because this is really the best kind of diet—the kind where you eat more than you usually would, and not less.

Now that we’re adults, there’s no one more adult than us limit our candy intake. Remember the days when we could only eat a few pieces before bed, and when we woke up our candy bags were nowhere to be seen? Those days are no more, and it’s time we take advantage of it.

In order to enjoy Halloween candy to its fullest and binge-iest, it’s important to prepare in advance so you don’t suffer from stomachaches or throw up your Pixie Stix and ruin your Halloween night.

A few days before, just start gradually increasing your daily intake of sugar. You might suffer from twitches and spasms at first, but those will soon become fun. The day before Halloween, don’t eat any sugar. It’ll be the hardest night of your life (unless you’re a recovering crack addict), but just remember that you’ll be able to eat all the candy you want in one day.

Then, on Halloween, BINGE, BABY, BINGE.

Oh, and if you never figured out what my costume was:

Real, Live(?) Ghosts

I apologize for not posting lately. I had a weekend date with some ghosts.

Let me preface this--I'm a skeptic. Hard to believe, right? The girl who starts planning her Halloween costume months in advance doesn’t believe in ghosts? Nope. But this certainly makes it easier for me to get excited about scary movies and ghost stories.

For our 3-year anniversary, my boyfriend and I decided to take a trip to Eureka Springs, Arkansas and stay at The Crescent Hotel—the 10^th most haunted spot in the United States. Nothing says romance like pregnant women falling from balconies and cancer patients being “treated” with carbolic acid.

You know what this non-believer did after the ghost tour ended the first night? She FREAKED OUT. This imagination is going to be the death of me. Sitting in the dark, all I could think about was the child that was watching me at the end of my bed or the perverted construction worker who would probably (definitely) watch me shower in the morning.

I don’t know what I would’ve done if I’d actually experienced something paranormal. It probably would’ve gone something like this:

Me: [Sees little girl standing at the end of the bed] . . .

Little girl: [Stares at me through two dark holes in her skull]

Me: [Stares back] mmmm [starts to whimper] AAAHHHHGLLLAAADAAAACCKMAA!

[Runs screaming from room and wakes up everyone in the hotel, including ghosts]

Boyfriend: [Chases me] What are you doing!?

Me: AAAHHHHGLLLAAADAAAACCKMAA!

Boyfriend: [Throws a blanket over me to avoid scratches, then scoop me up and carries me back] What was that about?

Me: AAAHHHHGLLLAAA—oh.

Boyfriend: Oh?

Me: I thought my coat buttons were that little girl that died on this floor.

Anyone ever experienced something that changed their mind about ghosts? The Ghost Hunters actually filmed at The Crescent, and their footage is pretty creepy. Check it out, if you're interested:

 Oh, and I do recommend staying at The Crescent, believer or not. The ghost tour was awesome.

What Pinterest Doesn't Tell You About Crafting

You know what I wish I liked more than I do? Crafting. It's artistic, fun, rewarding, and supposedly "relaxing." It’s also the perfect way to win a Halloween decorating contest that’ll knock $100 off your rent. And with Pinterest it’s easier than ever to get excited about crafts. You know what the problem is with crafting? Your project never turns out as good as the person who posted it. Case in point:

Here’s what Pinterest doesn’t tell you about your exciting craft endeavors:

1. You're about to spend way too much money on things like paper, glue, and googly eyes.

2. You're probably going to end up burning yourself. Or losing a finger.

3. It's going to take approximately fifteen times longer than the time you'd invested in your mind.

4. You're going to be so ashamed of how it turned out that you're not even going to want to display it.

5. Your dog might eat it. And then he'll die.

6. You're going to cry halfway through, decide to keep going, and cry again when it's over.

7. No matter what you're doing, your back is going to hurt at the end of it.

8. If you do display your atrocity, everyone will be too afraid to comment on it.

Stick to macaroni art, kids. Let's save some money and pride.