Cars and Tongues Don't Mix

We all know that drinking and driving isn’t a good idea. And many of us have had close calls with someone who was texting/talking on their phone. But apparently there’s a new bad driving habit infecting Springfield.

People suddenly think they can simultaneously fight eastbound Battlefield traffic and suck face with their significant other. I’m not kidding. I was driving behind a guy that had his tongue in his girlfriend’s mouth for about ten minutes straight.

How is this even possible!?

He was swerving, braking quickly, and enjoying his saliva swap. Is this something people do and I just haven’t realized it until now? Can’t it wait until you’re PARKED somewhere?

I was tempted to honk, but when I realized we were both driving to the mall, I decided it best to not draw attention to myself. Lucky, because I later saw the couple eyeing some Dr. Scholl’s in JCP.

Instead, I made this face at them, hoping one of them would eventually look in the rearview mirror and realize that they were being horribly inconsiderate. It didn't work.

What’s the strangest driving habit you’ve ever seen? 

Here's How Redbox Works

Some people don’t understand how Redbox works. If you’re one of those people I’m about to break it down for you. I promise it isn’t hard.

You use Redbox when:

• You want to watch a movie
• You don’t really want to watch a movie, but you have a Redbox promo code
• You don’t have Netflix
• You’ve exhausted Hulu
• You’re bored, possibly lonely, and wondering if a rom-com is the solution to all your problems (it never is)

Redbox etiquette:

• Have some idea of what movie you’re going to rent (you can check out the website before you go)
• Use clean hands
• Most importantly, know how to use a Redbox (there are directions conveniently provided for you on the screen)

DO NOT:

• Call someone and argue with them about which movie the two of you will both like
• Sneeze into your hands and continue touching the screen
• Spend twenty minutes browsing rentals
• Let your kids play with the "cool machine"
• Browse for five minutes and then walk away without a movie

Did that help? Good. Now, don’t let me catch you reading the synopses of every single movie with the word “love” in it while you eat pistachios out of your purse. I'm looking at you, patrons of Kum & Go.