Having kids has never really appealed to me. I just don’t
think I’ll ever be able to give up impromptu movie marathons, traveling, or
late-night reading. Or sleep. Yeah, I’d like to maintain a healthy relationship
with sleep. But it’s been brought to my attention that there are three perfectly legitimate reasons to
procreate.
1. Candy:
Unfortunately, you can’t get away with trick-or-treating after a certain age.
If I had kids, I’d convince them that the Great Pumpkin gobbles up children who
don’t share with their parents.
2. Toys:
For some reason, when toys show up on my Christmas wish list, my grandmother
thinks I’m joking. Anything with a choking hazard, like, say, a Monster High
Doll, would be MINE. It’s called being a responsible mom.
3. Playgrounds:
Having a kid at a playground is marginally more acceptable than fighting over a
swing with someone else’s five-year-old.
It’d be totally worth all the diaper changes and temper
tantrums, right?
