Pros
1. Curly
hair is awesome.
2. People
pay lots of money and spend lots of time trying to make their hair look like
yours.
a. Perms
b. Sock-bun
c. Curling
irons
d. Scrunch
gel
3. You
don’t have to wash your hair very often.
a. Should
I shower today? [Looks for sign of oily hair] Nope. [Sleeps another fifteen
minutes]
b. You
only have to buy shampoo twice a year, so you have more money to spend on
something else. Hopefully it’s something like a trip to Europe
and not a straightener.
4. Curly
hair is a great indicator of the weather.
a. You
can tell when there’s a rainstorm coming.
b. You’re
always dressed appropriately.
c. You
know when to tie your hair back, lest you suffer from rainy day poodle head.
Cons
1. It
gets EVERYWHERE.
a. We’re
talking papers, drains, other people’s heads, your mouth, your eyes, and other
uncomfortable places.
b. People
treat individual curly hairs look like malevolent little snakes. Seriously. Watch
someone just blow a straight hair off their paper. But watch them find a curly,
and they’ll pick it up precariously like it might be carrying the bird
flu.
2. Getting
your hair cut is terrifying.
a. Triangle-head
b. Inverted
triangle-head
c. Poodle
d. Afro
e. Sad
curls
f. The
haircut that will only look good if you straighten it
g. Curly
bangs (NO)
a. You
question Patti’s opinion, then realize that she knows everything.
b. You
spend the rest of your life worrying that you’re unattractive, but you’re
ultimately too much of a feminist to ever straighten your hair for a man’s
pleasure.
4. You
probably spent years 13-18 straightening your hair.
a. FIVE
YEARS OF SO MUCH TIME WASTED.
b. You
realize at age 19 that you look a gazillion times better with curly hair than
you did with straight hair.
I think it’s time we all accept our hair for what it is. Personally,
I’d rather be a poodle who can predict thunderstorms than a sheepdog who trips
over its own luscious locks. Who’s with me?
