Blubbering at Bambi

I never used to cry at movies. Really. Five-year-old Cecily would watch Bambi on repeat and never shed a tear. It was something I prided myself on. “Yeah, I’m the tough chick who won’t sob when Simon Birch dies saving all those little children.” Sorry for the spoiler.

No more. Now it seems like my emotions are catching up to me tenfold. End of Game of Thrones: Season One? Check. Gossip Girl series finale? Shamefully, check. Les Misérables? Of course. And my most recent sob installment—The Walking Dead: Season Two. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure The Walking Dead is supposed to be suspenseful, not sad.

What is happening to me? Unlike the Grinch, I’m not fond of this new heart of mine.

Top 10 movies that make me cry (in no particular order):

1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

2. Edward Scissorhands

3. The Green Mile

4. I Am Sam

5. Cast Away

6. Closer

7. Awakenings

8. A Little Princess

9. The Fox and the Hound

10. Black Beauty

The solution is just to subject myself to more sad movies, right? Harden my heart? Give me some suggestions. What are your favorite tearjerkers? 

Bad TV is Good for You

I think everyone deserves some time to shut off their brains and bask in the glow of . . . bad television. Admittedly, I don’t actually think my guilty pleasure picks are bad TV. But, I’ve been told otherwise. I say if you like it, watch it. As long as it’s not Toddler and Tiaras. You can still learn a lot from cartoons, teen dramas, and reality shows about housewives that drink too much. You can probably learn a lot from Spanish soap operas too. I should look into that.

Here’s what I’ve learned from a few of my so-called “bad” TV favorites. You should know that I’ve watched shows much, much worse than this (Hercules: The Legendary Journeys), but these are just a few of my most recent guilty pleasures.

Gossip Girl: There are two kinds of people who live in Manhattan: beautiful people and people who look like raccoons. It’s probably not a good idea to sleep with your teacher. French princes are evil and surprisingly not all that good-looking. If anyone asks you who you are, it’s best to just answer: “I’m Chuck Bass.”

The Real Housewives of New York/New Jersey/Beverly Hills (yes, I’ve watched all three): Don’t ever, EVER drink as much as these people. Plastic surgery? Not ever a good idea—unless you want to look like you’re breathing out of a straw. Money turns people in gossipy, vapid, tiny dog-loving people.

My Little Pony: Unicorns, pegasi, dragons, and magic are all real. People like it when you say “everypony” instead of “everybody” in everyday conversation. If your friend’s eyelid is twitching, it’s a good sign you’re about to trip over something. Ponies can have accents too.

Who knows what kind of terrible mistakes I would’ve made if I hadn’t watched all this bad TV? What have you learned from guilty pleasures? Can anyone beat my bad TV list?